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WebSlam VIII – Round 1
Prompts
Submissions are closed for Round 1.
Students responded to the following prompts for Round 1. Scroll down to read their work.
- Write a poem that involves one of the five senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste
- Write a poem that features sunlight, moonlight or artificial light
- Write a poem that describes how a person looks, avoiding value-laden words such as “pretty,” “handsome,” etc.
Poems
And they sang on
Yagazie Emezi — Albuquerque High School
flyemezi@yahoo.com
I used to live in a white bungalow
It was surrounded by a brown rusted up fence
that had been engulfed by pink bells of flowers that hummed.
they were always humming.
The yellow paint was peeling off our walls
chip by chip by chip
There would be a fine layer of brown powder dust everywhere as though Father Time had exhaled over the house
Patterns only a four year old would understand have been traced throught the dust
This house is old.
At night, ghosts with faces unimagainable, with voices sweet and clors pale dance in the night harder and faster than ever before with traditional colors of red, orange, green and black
and pans as instruments, leaving greasy spots on the land of our mother.
The beds were always unmade
creases upon creases rose and fell like waves of the ocean which i have never seen
i used to live in a white bungalow
it was surrounded by haunted souls of haunted pasts
and they sang sweet songs
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Reviewer:
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Adan Baca, bacaloc@yahoo.com
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Rating:
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8.0
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Review:
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The poem starts out very strong, then seems to fade. You might be trying to get somewhere and you just need to step back a little bit. Even though the poem is short, it gets a little distracting. I like your imagery, go with it.
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Posted: Nov/5/2006 9:55 pm
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Reviewer:
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Ryk Martinez, sykscript@hotmail.com
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Rating:
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9.0
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Review:
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Very good! Concise, descriptive sentences. Very descriptive. I would have liked to have heard more about your personal expeience in this setting rather than just the surroundings. I guess that’s part of your personal experience, though.
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Posted: Nov/7/2006 1:43 pm
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