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WebSlam VII – Round 3
Poems
Faded Pavement
Truett Smith — McCurdy School
truhas696@hotmail.com
Sun rays bounce off faded Highway 76 pavement.
Each turn and dip infested with the memory of lost family members,
whose souls are never lost.
Instead, they stay crouched on the side of the road.
You pay your respects with holy cards and a paint-drenched cross.
Sorrow carves dark lines under your eyes.
Dust particles mixed with rain silently disappear into our New Mexico sky.
The line on the side of the road is even.
Blinds cover my retinas, shadowing my innocence from dark truth.
The line on the side of the road keeps my eyes closed from chaos.
Heritage clash (social chaos)
This may stay as subtle as the piercing stare the white guy gave the brown guy.
Chaos through the… “out of Española” Smith family’s eyes.
As I walk up the road to school, a syringe impales my foot.
Left over morphine shocks my once, “uninfected limb.”
Tendons clench tighter than the horsehair strapped to a violin.
My foot slowly emerges out of entropy, as I realize I can’t be late to school…
… Or my future will not be profitable.
My dreams derelict.
They collect dust thicker than the morning dew,
on the “dead due to drought” tree branches.
We forget innocence, and join the highway parade.
Each yellow line follows the one before it in symmetrical order.
“Get on the road, your fate is set,” mother Mary whispers in my ear.
I reply, “Stop filling my head with this conservative bull shit and lies.”
“You having big plans for your life is as good as it will ever get
for you and your brown clan,” Jesus screams at my eardrum.
The words “brown pride” erupt from the head of my “Raza Brother’s” gun.
FRONT PAGE written on the side of this hollow- tipped bullet.
The bullet enters my temple…
…And for one exhilarating moment I see the truth.
I see a maze of roads and lies.
Silently, I join the linear pattern of roadside crosses.
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Reviewer:
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Manuel González, xicanopoet@yahoo.com
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Rating:
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9.5
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Review:
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Wow! Respect! This is a great poem for so many reasons! The imagery from Espanola is so vivid it takes me there. The poem begins as you mention hwy 76 and this becomes the reoccuring theme throughout the poem. You touch on some of the problems you see around you like the mixture of cultures that becomes “heritage clash (social chaos)” the violence, the drug epidemic, and then it ends as you show that every roadside cross in new mexico has a story. You can’t find those crosses in other parts of the country. This poem is northern new mexico. Well done!
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Posted: Nov/14/2004 5:57 pm
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Reviewer:
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Jessica Zimmerberg-Helms, taychoo@yahoo.com
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Rating:
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9.0
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Review:
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WOW. That is an amazingly intense poem. I really got into it. The rhythm catches you in a dry twisted way and holds until the end. Very deep, with great imagery and great direction. Very impressive. My only comments would be:
a. The ending kind of strays away from the rhythm and feeling of the rest of the poem, maybe it’s the dialogue. That is the only part that stuck out while I was reading it.
b. I’m not sure which one you are responding to. My guess is family heritage, but that could be made a little bit clearer.
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Posted: Nov/14/2004 11:42 pm
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